My name is Lance. I often introduce myself as Jared’s Poppy and DeeDee’s partner. I am lucky to have been married to DeeDee for nearly 24 years and my son, Jared, is now 19 and a first-year student at the University of Kansas (my alma mater…yes I am a proud Poppy). I love them both deeply and they are a huge part of my story.
I want to share a bit of my story about why I am traveling, but to move forward, sometimes we need to go back. I have a great job…not what you usually expect to hear from a traveler. I am the Director of Campus Activities at Colorado State University. It is a great place with wonderful people, yet despite this positive environment I had been struggling the last few years. I had been in the position for nearly 12 years but I found myself starting to think; “Am I ready for something different?”
This exploration and a general sense of discontent led me to therapy where I quickly realized I was experiencing depression and anxiety. I saw I needed to work hard in therapy to address those things, so I did just that with a wonderful therapist who pushed me and supported me as I dug in. It was an incredible challenge and I often wanted to quit, but with some time and effort it was working. I was learning about myself and starting to make the changes I needed and wanted.
In September of 2015 while deep into therapy my dad died. It was not an unexpected passing, and I got to be with him at the end. He got to make choices that many people at the end of life don’t get to make. While I miss him every day, I am grateful for how he was able to leave this world. The following April in 2016 my mom died and it was just the opposite it came on quick and she was not able to make decisions for herself. I feel fortunate I got to be with her but it was a totally different experience.
At 45 years old, I was an orphan. Losing both parents had a huge impact on me, I felt untethered. With DeeDee and Jared’s support I weathered this difficult time. It was not easy and I sank back into a deep depression but thankfully this time I was equipped with more skills to deal with it and heal. I was still in therapy and still restless. I knew I wanted something different I just did not know how to get it, or even quite what is was. I just knew I needed a bigger change – a positive change.
During this time I found three important resources. The first was Kara & Nate’s vlog of their travels around the world. The second was the Location Indie Community (special shout out to my Mastermind group Acachia, Isaac and Rachel) and the third was a year long coaching program offered by Kathy Obear. With a therapist in my corner, a wonderful family supporting me and these new resources I realized that travel was the positive change I had been looking for. It was finally clear to me that my mid-life crisis include travel and not a motorcycle or sports car.
As I continued through therapy I gained the confidence to advocate for my desire. After working in some shorter trips I took the plunge with a leave of absence from work and now here I am just a few months out from starting 7 months of travel. This is just a short introduction about me and why I travel, and I can’t wait to share more of my unfolding story in my blog.
I cannot wrap this up without acknowledging the privilege I have to be able to do this. I spend a lot of my time learning and teaching about social justice and this introduction would not be complete without mentioning that. I recognize the privilege I have as a cisgender man to feel safe when travelling alone. I recognize that being white, having a US passport and speaking English are all privileges that make my travelling easier. I recognize that being in a long term relationship that has been recognized as marriage is a privilege that many people don’t have or just recently gained. I believe oppression in many forms is real, and as someone with so many privileged identities I have a responsibility to acknowledge oppression and resist it while acknowledging how much I benefit from the unequal systems.
I hope something in my story resonates with you? If it does please follow along and share in this journey with me. I would love to have your company.
Lance
