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Gratitude: A Love Letter

I have a lot of people I need to say thank you to.

There are so many people who have supported me and propped me up as I move toward this once in a lifetime adventure. Friends and family who have encouraged me. The people I work with how are taking on extra responsibility. People online who I have not yet met in person but who have greatly impacted my life. A son, Jared, who makes me so proud and who has encouraged my adventure every step of the way.

I want to say thank you to all those people and many more. As I continue along my journey, I aim to do that. I will try to thank people who have been influencing my life for years and those who I meet along the way. I will endeavor, and may fail often, to live in a state of gratitude as I move through my journey.

While I have many to thank, for right now, I want to thank one person: my partner and my friend, DeeDee.

DeeDee and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I will be traveling on our next anniversary, August 5th. We have had ups and downs. We have experienced great joy together and supported each other through tragedies, both expected and unexpected.

What you need to know is that DeeDee and I are an example of opposites attracting. I am spontaneous and like to take risks, while DeeDee is a planner and would prefer to be cautious. I can be an emotional volcano, DeeDee is measured and thoughtful. I like to argue and fight, DeeDee does not like to do this (and that is all I’m gonna say about that).

DeeDee is smart, very smart. She is pursuing a PhD and she’s great at it. She loves education, and while I really like education, I don’t want to spend another day in the classroom as a student. And yet, with all our differences, DeeDee is my person. I depend on her and I hope she feels like she can depend on me.

She is the reason I am able to have this adventure. I have been restless and wanted to travel for some time. I have wanted to quit my job and walk away. I have asked DeeDee to come with me, but the thing is, traveling for an extended period of time is not her dream—it is my dream. We have talked and argued about this at length, and ultimately DeeDee supported me to go and pursue my dream.

She has been willing to get on board with my travel even though I know for her it is difficult that I will be gone for 7 months. She has hung in there with me when I scheduled a photographer to take pictures of our house to put on the market when it was a wreck. Yet, in less than a week she and I got it ready and looking great. In the end, together, we sold our house and will move a week before I start traveling. This is just one example of my spontaneity posing a challenge for her, but it speaks to a larger trend.

There are so many specific things big and small I could thank her for as it relates to my preparation for this trip. Instead, I want to focus (not a strong suit for me) and thank her for two important things.

First, I want to thank her for being the best mother I know. When I think about being a parent, she is my idol. She is so good at it and has so much love for Jared. I cannot imagine parenting with another human being. She is so naturally a mom. On her good days and even her bad, she is a mom.

Jared, if you are reading this (and you better be reading it) I hope you have some small comprehension of how great DeeDee is to you. I realize you can’t yet fully understand it but just know that you hit the jackpot!

I hit the jackpot as well. There is nothing more important we have done together than raising Jared and I am lucky to have my parenting mentor as my partner.

The other thing I want to thank her for is loving me. She loves me more than anyone. Her love is unconditional and even when I don’t deserve it, I know it will be there. I don’t believe in soulmates and I don’t believe in “the one”. What I do believe is that being in a relationship is a choice and for over 24 years, DeeDee has made the choice to love me. My background makes trust hard for me so I have often wondered if she will keep loving me.

The short simple answer is yes.

So, as I prepare to leave for 7 months, I know with certainty that when I come back to Fort Collins, love will be here waiting for me. DeeDee’s unwavering love is why I can travel, put my fear aside and pursue my dream.

Thank you, DeeDee, for helping me live out a dream, even when the dream has a high cost for you. I hope this adventure makes me a better person and I hope it helps me to be a better partner for you. I guess what I hope most of all is that this trip makes me a little bit more like you. I love you DeeDee.

Testing Sangria…red or white? Both Please!
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One Month to go and I Feel Fine

I am a month away from beginning my 7 months of travel. I am feeling…about 1,000 different things. First let me give you context for what the next month will look like. DeeDee and I are selling our house, buying a new one AND moving all before I leave on June 2. I am writing this sitting in Breckenridge, Colorado enjoying a long weekend away and wondering why the hell am I taking a long weekend away when we have so much to do. Oh yeah we also get to drive to Lawrence, KS to pick up the offspring after his first year at the University of Kansas. Work. There is also work. I need to prepare everything so all the people who will be working harder so I can gallivant around the world will be set up for success while I am gone. I am sure this is shocking but I am struggling to focus at work as well. So this month is going to be a whirlwind of excitement and stress.

View from our deck in Breckenridge.

So how do I feel? I feel excited, stressed, guilty, giddy, uncertain, grateful, scared out of my mind, joyous, satisfied, like I might be losing my mind and I am sure a few other things as well. That is a lot to hold and sometimes I feel like it all might just come out at once like when a star dies and forms a black hole…I know that is really dramatic, but I mean in terms of a metaphor I do think it is a winner.

All the feelings.

Travel planning is both stressful and fun. I experience a great amount of satisfaction when I book a flight, a room or an activity. I also experience stress about whether I got the best price and whether I am maximizing my loyalty points. I am a novice travel hacker and I always have a nagging voice in the back of my head asking if I did it right. I mean, I am fortunate enough to be able to travel for 7 months so really how wrong can I get it. That being said the voice in my head telling me I screwed up is very strong and persistent.

I do know a few things about my trip so let me share them with you. I fly to Frankfurt Germany on Sunday June 2nd and arrive on the morning of June 3rd. I decided to use some Hilton Honors points and stay 3 nights in the Hilton Garden Inn that is connected to the airport. I have never been to Germany so why not explore. On June 6th I fly to Tirana, Albania and have an Airbnb booked until the 13th. My goal is to explore as much as I can. From June 13th-24th I was supposed to be working at a hostel in Sarande in exchange for free room and board. I found this using the Workaway site. This morning I found out that the workaway fell through so I have a week and a half to explore Albania. This was a good reminder that when travelling flexibility is important. I am bummed out but not discouraged. DeeDee and Jared will fly to Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 25th and we will spend some time exploring Croatia and then Greece. That is what I know for now and it seems like a enough. I have some planning done for Asia in the fall but that is another blog. Just a little spoiler to let you know I am doing a River Cruise in Myanmar with Kara & Nate (if you don’t know who they are go to YouTube right now and find out). Mostly I wanted to share that because there is still room on the cruise and I am sure YOU should join us.

So as Michael Stipe once said about the end of the world…this is the beginning of my new world and I feel fine!