I wanted to write about Berat because I thought it was an amazing place. It is old…I think the oldest place I have ever been with the first known habitation being in the 6th Century BC. “Modern” Berat started in about 314 BC so it is only about 2400 years old. As I thought about what to write I realized that really I don’t have the words to explain Berat so instead, I will share it with you through pictures. I hope you enjoy.
Views of the nearby mountains
On each hill there are very old buildings that were part of castles
A Church in the hills
Not a bad place to stay
My favorite dinner was at Antigoni. The food was terrific but I think like the views better. Watching the sunset and the city change was fantastic. Oh, and the tomatoes in Albania are delicious! The main course was Berat Spitzel, cheese wrapped with meat and then fried…I don’t think it was good for me but it sure was yummy.
Have fun storming the castle…this hill is steep and long. I should take a picture facing back down the hill. Alternate caption I am tired of walking up this damn hill and need a break.
The castle sits on the top of the big hill. After walking & walking & walking I got to the top and took some photos of the area.
One of my favorite days was going to Osumi Canyon and Bogova Waterfalls. We got to swim in both places which were amazing. The guide said the water at the waterfalls was 8 Celsius…I don’t know if that is true but it was cold. Swimming in the amazing canyon was much warmer.
I realize that everything I experience in Albania is through my own lens and my own lived experience. In this blog, I want to share an essay written by my new Albanian friend Brian. I asked him to talk about young people in Albania and this is his truly insightful response.
Something is not rotten in the state of Albania and that is
the youth of this country. I consider myself very fortunate to remain in
contact with students even after finishing my university studies. In my first
year as an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Foreign Languages University of
Tirana and the Faculty of Dentistry in University of Medicine Tirana I have had
the luck to teach some 200 students, chiefly freshmen. What really impressed in
my first year of work is how incredible students are.
What I believe makes Albanian students incredible is their
will and power to study hard and succeed despite disappointments and obstacles
they face daily. I will start with politics, the number one cause of
demotivation among young people and not only. According to a recent study by
Civic Resistance NGO, the vast majority of young people see themselves
distanced from political parties, where 80% of them are neither members nor
activists of a political party. The same study also revealed that only 17% of
young people trust in political parties. I consider this to be one of the
greatest blessings with today’s young people: they are (almost) totally free
from political affiliations and they know that it is hard work which will make
them go places.
Another issue they face is the uncertainty over their
future. Imagine entering a new chapter of your life, being full of hopes and
positive energy about a bright future and then you get told by the older people
that there is no hope, degrees are useless, when you finish your studies you
will end up either unemployed or employed with a minimal wage? It is like
people are trying to shatter your dreams before you even fall asleep. Yet,
Albanian students keep a stiff upper lip. Disappointments and society’s
negative energy are the CO2 that they turn into oxygen, the driving
force to push for change. Albanian youth consider themselves as the ones who
will shape Albanian of tomorrow. And they are right.
What else makes Albanian youth incredible? Despite their
difficulties and misfortunes, they prevail. There are thousands of Albanian
students studying abroad, chiefly through scholarships they have earned thanks
to their intelligence and commitment. Others who conclude their academic
studies in Albania are hired in European countries, chiefly Germany, and US.
What’s most amazing is not the fact that they succeed in the country they
emigrate but the fact that despite the high brain drain Albania has suffered in
the recent years, it still manages to meet demand of specialist of the country.
I believe that if there is one thing that Albania exports that is human
resources. And we are very good at it.
All in all, I consider Albanian youth able to make
outstanding things. They are intelligent, committed and disappointed enough to induce
a real change to Albania and bring it closer to where it belongs: Europe and
the West.
From
what I have experienced so far, the pace of life in Albania is slower than I am
used to. The one exception to this is when in a car, and then it seems very
fast & furious. Other than that, people do things like sit in cafés for
long periods of time having one coffee and casually chatting with friends. Many
people seem to like just watching the world go by.
Seeing
everyone taking their time at life inspired me, and I set out to get my head
and face shaved. I have always wanted to get my face shaved with a straight
edge razor by a barber but had never made time to do it. I found a small barber
shop called The Gentlemen’s Den. The name freaked me out a bit, but things
looked all right. The barber did not speak English though luckily someone there
did. I scheduled a shave for the next day at 11:30.
I was not sure about the name of the place but I am so glad I took a chance.
The
next morning, I was very excited to go in for the shave. I was a little late,
but the barber was very understanding. We navigated our language barrier and I
was confident he understood I wanted my head and face shaved.
After
getting settled in the barber’s chair, he first covered my head with a generous
amount of blue gel. He used a lot of it. However much you are thinking,
it was even more than that. The cool gel felt cool which was so nice because it
was a very hot day outside and immediately got me relaxed.
After
that sat for a few moments, he wrapped my head with a hot towel. The contrast
of brisk gel and hot steam was incredible. I could feel my hair follicles
opening right up, and in a few minutes, they were ready for a serious shave.
The barber loaded a new razor in his straight blade and started shaving away. I
was loving it!
This
is where things took a wonderful turn from great to amazing. After he was done
with the blade, he then smoothed shaving cream all over my head which started a
little tingle and mild but invigorating burning. This move wasn’t just
refreshing, it was genius. After a couple minutes of this shaving cream
treatment, he shaved my whole damn head again. He was meticulous.
At
this point we had been there for quite some time and I thought maybe I had not
been successful as I thought communicating that I wanted my faced shaved, too.
Of course, seconds later, I saw I had no reason to worry. He grabbed a head
rest, attached it to the chair, tipped me back, and gave my face the same
outstanding double shave treatment. All I could think was, “What is happening
here? How can I ever just have a normal shave again?”
After
nearly 45 minutes, my first Albanian barbershop shaving experience was done.
Now, those of you who know me will find this particularly funny because you
know I don’t have a whole lot of hair. I gave him 1200 lek, plus what I hope
was a generous tip, and went on my way, feeling brand new. I am not sure I have
ever spent 45 minutes in a barber’s chair. In case you are keeping track, 1200 lek
is about $12. Not bad for the best shave of my life!
My mirror selfie game is weak but I think you can tell I am happy.
I
regularly move through life quickly. I often get told, “Wow, you look like you
are in a hurry!” This happens even when I’m not particularly in any rush.
Satisfying a lifelong wish for a barbershop straight edge razor shave was great
on its own, but it also showed me that part of my journey is going to be learning
how to slow down and pay more attention to the world.
After
reclining back and giving my full attention to all those different sensations,
I want all my stops in a barber’s chair to be 45 minutes of shaving bliss! I
think, just maybe, if I slow down some in everyday life and look more closely
at what’s around me, I can have some of that bliss outside the barbershop, too.
I have finished my first week of travel and thought it would be a good idea
to get some reflections down. I’m just getting used to being out on the road
and finding my rhythm between exploring, reflecting, and blogging.
I will start with two things. The first is to come visit Albania. It is
beautiful and there is a lot to see. My second thought is that I haven’t yet formed thoughts on Albania as a whole. I really only have thoughts on
Tirana.
To me—and to be clear, this is through my lens and all that comes with
that—Tirana feels like a young, vibrant, up-and-coming city. It is hectic and
chaotic. When you walk around outside much of the city seems to be in
disrepair. But when you go inside the buildings, many places are brand new with
a fresh look. There are young people everywhere.
It feels like a big city with a lot of people living here, because it is. The population of Albania is 3 million, and a third of them live in Tirana
and the surrounding metropolitan area. The traffic is wild, and you have to be extra cautious while crossing the
street. Car horns are ever present. Later this month I am scheduled to rent a
car. I am thinking of moving my pickup location to the airport to avoid driving
in the city center because I don’t understand the local rules of the road.
I took the Tirana Free Walking Tour and the guide was so full of hope and energy. He studied history in college and shared a great understanding of where Albania has come from and a bright outlook on where it can go. While acknowledging their struggles he was optimistic about the future of the country. He was hopeful about becoming a member of the European Union and what that would mean for Albania. If you are in Tirana do this tour, you will love it.
Of course, there are lessons here of the things I take for granted. So far,
I am reflecting on the advantages I have just by being born and living in the
U.S. The main one that comes to mind is access to clean running water, yet I
also fully recognize that not everyone in the U.S. has this. I have read mixed
things about drinking the tap water here so as a precaution I am drinking
bottled water. It is easy enough, but it does show me how I have always taken
for granted that in my house I could turn on the water and presume it was safe.
I want to do a better job of not taking these sorts of things for granted when
I come home.
Another observation I have made is that I am more introverted than I usually am. One of my goals for travel is to meet and connect with people along the way, yet that has been harder than I thought. This has been a surprise and I will have to keep reflecting on why this is. Despite this, so far in my first week I did meet a traveler who has does the Something of Freedom blog and an Instagram page with 34 thousand followers that I found impressive. So far, I feel this first week of travel is off to a good start.
I am learning a good lesson this week… the
line between gratitude and a bad attitude is very thin. By nature, I often lean
toward the bad attitude.
I planned to write a blog on Sunday titled
“One Week to Go and I Feel…” I was excited to compare how I was doing at one-week
pre-trip versus my past writings at one month and two weeks out. It was going
to be a nice wrap up to my pre-trip blogs.
Then, on Saturday we moved from a wonderful home
with a lot of space that we had lived in for 12 years to a beautiful but much
smaller condo. In preparation for the move we got rid of thousands of things—no
exaggeration, we counted for a month.
This downsizing has its benefits, such as no
exterior maintenance to worry about. This will make traveling and taking care
of our home easier for years to come. The real challenge though is that it is MUCH
smaller. Even after getting rid of so much we still have way too much stuff.
After two full days of unpacking the place is
a mess, though progress is being made. We have the kitchen about 75% done and
the master bedroom about 80% done. The garage is so full that I don’t know when
we will be able to get a car in. The basement is a wreck and the main floor living
area is in shambles.
Going to be awhile before a car goes in
A little hard to live in the living room
So, I have been crabby. I have complained
about how much stuff we have. I have been short with DeeDee and Jared and I
have felt a constant state of overwhelm.
I keep asking myself why the hell are we
moving one week before I leave? when I should be recognizing that we only
put our house on the market on March 14th. Things quickly got busy and moved
fast.
We sold our house, found and bought a condo,
closed on both, and were able to move before I left for my trip—all of that in
barely over two months. While I would not recommend to anyone moving the week
before a 7-month trip, when I really pause to think about everything that’s
happened, we are so fortunate. Everything worked out just right.
Despite all the stress of change getting to
me and my mood, the thing is: I have so much to be grateful for. The
line between gratitude and a poor attitude is so thin, and I want to practice
gratitude.
I need to choose gratitude over complaining.
I need to choose gratitude over complaining.
I need to choose gratitude over complaining.
You probably get the point, but I am hoping
by doing a little bit of “Bart Simpson writing on the chalkboard” I will
actually listen and choose gratitude over complaining. That is my work from now
until I leave on Sunday June 2nd: choose gratitude (in addition to some more
unpacking).
The view from our new deck, there is a lot to be grateful for
I feel doubt right now that I will be good at
it, but I am going to really try, because gratitude is what I truly want to
feel. Feel free to remind me of this if I start falling into complaints.
In just four days, I will board an airplane
to start a 7-month adventure that I know will change me. The truth is that even
with the stress along the way and though I have been struggling at times to
show it, I am grateful, and I am especially grateful for all of you who
are supporting me and choosing to follow along with my journey.
Everything I’ve been counting down to and
preparing for is about to begin, and as I go forward, I will keep repeating to
myself, “Choose gratitude.”
This past
week has had a much different feel. The excitement of past weeks spent browsing
destinations and undiscovered experiences has now faded to a background hum. I
am scared about what lies ahead. Anxiety about many things swirls around in my
mind.
What if I
don’t like my destinations? What if I have not planned enough? What if I have
planned too much and I miss a great spontaneous opportunity? What if I get sick
while I travel? What if there is political unrest where I visit? That’s just
being cautious, right? There have been multiple political protests in Tirana,
Albania, after all…
What if…
what if… what if?
I have
noticed the amount of time I spend in worry is greater than the amount of time
I spend in excitement. Negative judgments cloud my day with the voice in my
head saying:
“I
mean, who am I to take 7 months off work and travel?”
“I
don’t deserve to do this.”
“I am
not enough.”
“I
don’t deserve to focus on me.”
Then, I pause. I try to quiet this harsh voice while balancing the fact that I have so many things that allow me to do this. I have the support of my family, my friends, my workplace, and I have unearned privilege from my social identities that make solo travel accessible to me.
The reality
is that I don’t deserve this more than anyone else. My hope is that by doing
this I help others see that they deserve it, too. I also hope to call attention
to the inequality that still exists for others. That is why I am sharing my
story here, even (especially) the parts that aren’t so easy to admit.
So, it has
been a long week. This next week we move, and I know that is causing some of my
anxiety, too. I have one week to “settle” into our new house and then off I go.
I get on a plane and this adventure begins.
As I look
around our house at how much packing we still have to do, the voice starts up
again. “There is no way this will all happen.”
Then I quiet
the voice and know this is totally going to happen whether I am ready or not.
Whether my loose ends are tied up or not, this is already set in motion.
This is
what I wanted. It’s happening now.
My plan is
to lean into the fear, experience the anxiety, and take the ups with the downs.
I will allow myself to question my decisions, but I won’t get stuck there.
I will hold onto to the fact that I know this is the right thing for me to do. I know this is the right time. I won’t let my fear stop me from feeling excitement.
I feel scared, but I know deep down that I am fine.
I have a lot
of people I need to say thank you to.
There are so
many people who have supported me and propped me up as I move toward this once
in a lifetime adventure. Friends and family who have encouraged me. The people
I work with how are taking on extra responsibility. People online who I have
not yet met in person but who have greatly impacted my life. A son, Jared, who
makes me so proud and who has encouraged my adventure every step of the way.
I want to say
thank you to all those people and many more. As I continue along my journey, I
aim to do that. I will try to thank people who have been influencing my life
for years and those who I meet along the way. I will endeavor, and may fail
often, to live in a state of gratitude as I move through my journey.
While I have
many to thank, for right now, I want to thank one person: my partner and my
friend, DeeDee.
DeeDee and I
have been married for nearly 24 years. I will be traveling on our next
anniversary, August 5th. We have had ups and downs. We have experienced great
joy together and supported each other through tragedies, both expected and
unexpected.
What you need
to know is that DeeDee and I are an example of opposites attracting. I am
spontaneous and like to take risks, while DeeDee is a planner and would prefer
to be cautious. I can be an emotional volcano, DeeDee is measured and
thoughtful. I like to argue and fight, DeeDee does not like to do this (and
that is all I’m gonna say about that).
DeeDee is
smart, very smart. She is pursuing a PhD and she’s great at it. She loves education,
and while I really like education, I don’t want to spend another day in the
classroom as a student. And yet, with all our differences, DeeDee is my person.
I depend on her and I hope she feels like she can depend on me.
She is the
reason I am able to have this adventure. I have been restless and wanted to
travel for some time. I have wanted to quit my job and walk away. I have asked
DeeDee to come with me, but the thing is, traveling for an extended period of
time is not her dream—it is my dream. We have talked and argued about this at
length, and ultimately DeeDee supported me to go and pursue my dream.
She has been
willing to get on board with my travel even though I know for her it is
difficult that I will be gone for 7 months. She has hung in there with me when
I scheduled a photographer to take pictures of our house to put on the market
when it was a wreck. Yet, in less than a week she and I got it ready and
looking great. In the end, together, we sold our house and will move a week
before I start traveling. This is just one example of my spontaneity posing a
challenge for her, but it speaks to a larger trend.
There are so
many specific things big and small I could thank her for as it relates to my
preparation for this trip. Instead, I want to focus (not a strong suit for me)
and thank her for two important things.
First, I want
to thank her for being the best mother I know. When I think about being a
parent, she is my idol. She is so good at it and has so much love for Jared. I
cannot imagine parenting with another human being. She is so naturally a mom.
On her good days and even her bad, she is a mom.
Jared, if you
are reading this (and you better be reading it) I hope you have some small
comprehension of how great DeeDee is to you. I realize you can’t yet fully
understand it but just know that you hit the jackpot!
I hit the
jackpot as well. There is nothing more important we have done together than
raising Jared and I am lucky to have my parenting mentor as my partner.
The other thing
I want to thank her for is loving me. She loves me more than anyone. Her love
is unconditional and even when I don’t deserve it, I know it will be there. I
don’t believe in soulmates and I don’t believe in “the one”. What I do believe
is that being in a relationship is a choice and for over 24 years, DeeDee has
made the choice to love me. My background makes trust hard for me so I have
often wondered if she will keep loving me.
The short
simple answer is yes.
So, as I
prepare to leave for 7 months, I know with certainty that when I come back to
Fort Collins, love will be here waiting for me. DeeDee’s unwavering love is why
I can travel, put my fear aside and pursue my dream.
Thank you, DeeDee, for helping me live out a dream, even when the dream has a high cost for you. I hope this adventure makes me a better person and I hope it helps me to be a better partner for you. I guess what I hope most of all is that this trip makes me a little bit more like you. I love you DeeDee.
I am a month away from beginning my 7 months of travel. I am feeling…about 1,000 different things. First let me give you context for what the next month will look like. DeeDee and I are selling our house, buying a new one AND moving all before I leave on June 2. I am writing this sitting in Breckenridge, Colorado enjoying a long weekend away and wondering why the hell am I taking a long weekend away when we have so much to do. Oh yeah we also get to drive to Lawrence, KS to pick up the offspring after his first year at the University of Kansas. Work. There is also work. I need to prepare everything so all the people who will be working harder so I can gallivant around the world will be set up for success while I am gone. I am sure this is shocking but I am struggling to focus at work as well. So this month is going to be a whirlwind of excitement and stress.
View from our deck in Breckenridge.
So how do I feel? I feel excited, stressed, guilty, giddy, uncertain, grateful, scared out of my mind, joyous, satisfied, like I might be losing my mind and I am sure a few other things as well. That is a lot to hold and sometimes I feel like it all might just come out at once like when a star dies and forms a black hole…I know that is really dramatic, but I mean in terms of a metaphor I do think it is a winner.
All the feelings.
Travel planning is both stressful and fun. I experience a great amount of satisfaction when I book a flight, a room or an activity. I also experience stress about whether I got the best price and whether I am maximizing my loyalty points. I am a novice travel hacker and I always have a nagging voice in the back of my head asking if I did it right. I mean, I am fortunate enough to be able to travel for 7 months so really how wrong can I get it. That being said the voice in my head telling me I screwed up is very strong and persistent.
I do know a few things about my trip so let me share them with you. I fly to Frankfurt Germany on Sunday June 2nd and arrive on the morning of June 3rd. I decided to use some Hilton Honors points and stay 3 nights in the Hilton Garden Inn that is connected to the airport. I have never been to Germany so why not explore. On June 6th I fly to Tirana, Albania and have an Airbnbbooked until the 13th. My goal is to explore as much as I can. From June 13th-24th I was supposed to be working at a hostel in Sarande in exchange for free room and board. I found this using the Workaway site. This morning I found out that the workaway fell through so I have a week and a half to explore Albania. This was a good reminder that when travelling flexibility is important. I am bummed out but not discouraged. DeeDee and Jared will fly to Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 25th and we will spend some time exploring Croatia and then Greece. That is what I know for now and it seems like a enough. I have some planning done for Asia in the fall but that is another blog. Just a little spoiler to let you know I am doing a River Cruise in Myanmar with Kara & Nate (if you don’t know who they are go to YouTube right now and find out). Mostly I wanted to share that because there is still room on the cruise and I am sure YOU should join us.
So as Michael Stipe once said about the end of the world…this
is the beginning of my new world and I feel fine!
