What I Have Learned Traveling

I am writing this on July 14, 2019. I left the US on June 2, so this makes today my 43rd day traveling. Time goes so fast. I have traveled solo for most of that and DeeDee, Jared, and our good friend Sara were my travel companions for over two weeks. During this time I have visited Albania, Croatia, and Greece and driven from border to border in Montenegro twice. I have spent a lot of time alone and I have also met wonderfully kind people. 

Along the way, I have learned a few keywords essential to getting around. In Albanian, faleminderit is thank you, and përshëndetje is hello. In Croatian, thank you is fala. I have also learned a lot about Albanian history but I’m sure I have only scratched the surface. It is a long and complicated history which only intrigues me more. For instance, the story of the Albanian hero Skanderbeg is so fascinating and the people are so proud of him. He was a military leader in the country when then sought their independence from the Ottoman Empire in the 1400’s. If you’d like to learn a little about Albanian culture and also enjoy good fiction, I suggest Broken April by Ismail Kadare. It is a dark and beautiful story about the traditions of Albania and reading it helped get me excited to make Albania my first stop.

After two weeks of nearly constant movement, I am currently house & pet sitting in Durrës, Albania and have a lot of downtime. I wanted to write this blog when I was a month into my travels, but the words were not coming to me. It has been a struggle to figure out how to share my experiences so far.

After three weeks of traveling alone, I was really excited to see DeeDee and Jared. I have said many times that one of the things we do best as a family is traveling together, and this trip just reinforced that belief. I am particularly grateful because I know that my time traveling with Jared will only be reduced as he gets older. Of course, even though there were times we got crabby with each other, like when Jared and I argued about politics until we were both mad—I would not trade one second of the time I had with them. With all of the bumps that come with family, the time we spent together was sacred and I know how fortunate I am that they could join me on this trip. 

At first, I was feeling stressed about not “keeping up” with my posts, but in hindsight, I realized that it was great to focus on our family time and not worry so much about the blog. That clarity has allowed me to reflect on why this post has been hard to write. I could sit here and easily list off things I’ve learned so far, but I wouldn’t find that so interesting and a list wouldn’t get to the heart of what I want to share. What I really want to get down to how I am making meaning of my travels. Really, this is what I hope all of my posts focus on in one way or another. 

Being Alone

I am an extrovert, and while I am much less of an extrovert than I was when I was twenty, I am still an outgoing, extroverted personality. I love to get outside to new places, meet people, connect with others, and hear their stories. This has been a huge part of my trip and surprisingly, sometimes really challenging. I want to go experience life with new people yet sometimes I am also drawn to staying in my room watching TV on my computer. My goal is to honor both of those things and not feel bad or judge myself when I spend a day doing nothing. I guess even extroverts need some downtime, and I’m learning that’s okay. As I sat in a cafe writing this The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars started playing…seemed like perfect timing. 

So far, I have been successful meeting people in two ways: in bars and online. I know it might sound cliché, but sitting at a bar is truly a great way to mingle with people, and I’m finding this holds true no matter where I go. When all else fails,  most bartenders are willing to chat and more often than not, they are quite interesting, full of unique perspectives and entertaining stories. I am grateful to have found a great bar in Tirana where I met the owner and hung out several times. If you ever go to Tirana and find yourself in need of a libation, pay a visit to Duff Sports Bar, ask for Ledion, and tell him Lance sent you. He will treat you right. 

The other way I have been meeting people is through Facebook and online introductions. I made a new friend this way, via an introduction from my friend Melia named Brian, and we hit it off so well that I asked him to write a guest post on the Albanian youth, one of the most fascinating topics we discussed. I met another travel blogger, Natalia, who I learned more about blogging and just general travel from and Christy who I am house sitting for through an Albanian Facebook group. Despite the many problems that come along with the internet and social media, it really does make the world a smaller, friendlier place. These tools make this a magical time to travel if you use your street smarts and learn how to maximize connections. 

To Plan or Not to Plan

Admittedly, I am not a great planner. I get some strange level of pride from not planning, and while I am sure some of this comes from insecurity, that is a topic for another time. The truth is forgoing plans fulfills this internal desire to be an adventurer and I find flying by the seat of my pants is definitely more adventurous than creating an itinerary with little to no leeway for exploration. Oddly enough, my travels so far have helped me realize that I do often need more of a plan than perhaps I like to readily admit. Without one, it becomes so easy to just stay in the room and not do much when I don’t have something on the calendar. That outcome ends up running contrary to the adventure I really want to have and that I believe a lack of planning allows, so I’ve been grappling with accepting that plans are more useful for facilitating adventures than I have given them credit for.

A wonderful outcome of this somewhat uncomfortable realization is that it has helped me see something back at home I have been missing for a long time: how much DeeDee’s planning makes my life better. Because planning doesn’t come naturally to me, I think I’ve been taking for granted the value that a structured plan provides. Thank you, DeeDee, and I apologize for not recognizing this sooner. 

All of these reflections and lessons so far have helped me make a decision that I think will really enhance my trip. I have decided to go to Switzerland on August 5th. I’ll be staying with a family and helping in their garden and around the house. I found this opportunity through Workaway and it has really given me something to focus on for the next leg of my travel adventure. It’s a bit of an experiment for me, and I feel that it’s a solid compromise between having a set plan and having no plan whatsoever. I’m going to test out this combination and see if it will give me the security and direction I appreciate having in a plan while also remaining open and flexible enough to satisfy my need for adventure. Either way, even creating a plan like this is an adventure for me, so we’ll see where the road leads! 

There is so much more meaning making I could share but for now, I just need to post this damn blog and start thinking about what to share next. Several folks have asked me how I chose Albania to start so I am considering that as a topic. If you have ideas, please share them with me.